It's eating at my brain
At my soul.
At my skin.
Tearing thick flesh from the sanity that once held it together.
A deep breath cannot turn time back or take back the steps I took so boldly in the direction I never knew would bring us here.
Bring us to destruction and thorough baronness that surrounded every mistake I ever tried to forget.
I lost the things I worked for
And I longed for the past with each footstep I made on her heart.
All I ever wanted
Was in the love I once saw so clearly. It stared me in the face to my soul and back and I knew it was true no matter the selfish doubts my untamed lips spewed.
It tore us apart.
My unkept secrets to the trembling of a hidden hand.
The quickened thumps of a heartbeat.
And maybe that's all we'll ever be.
Things I hold onto tighter than gold or life.
Memories- The one thing that won't change on me.
Because I ruin everything else.
But a memory- you can't touch a memory.
Thus- I can't ruin all we had.
I can only ruin what we have.
Which sadly, is now nothing.
I no longer yearn to strangle words from you or to beg for the three words I know won't pass your lips for me anymore. No matter how hard it pulls at my heartstrings, I must learn to accept that sad consequence.
All I ever wanted I had for a short time. Etched on every wall it will remain. Memories of things I so long to return to. But can't.
Oh how I love to hold the intangable.