Pretty Pointless Blog

I really tried to write a good blog today. But I can't find words anymore.
Not as myself.

I wanted to write this blog about my paranoia. But everything I wrote was too personal and almost Hurt me to even write down.
Then I wanted to write this blog about my feelings on doubt. That was once again, too personal.
Then I wanted to write a blog about love.
But i've DONE that before.
So now I'm writing a blog, for lack of words.

It's like everything I write on this blog is too personal. Something that if someone reads, won't accept and will leave me.
I'm scared.
I'm scared of myself. That I'll drive everyone away.

Maybe I give too much of myself to people for them to hold on to.
Maybe I'm too possesive and maybe I should be more careful.
Maybe I need to give a shorter string of me to hold onto. But at this point, I'm not changing.
This is who I've grown up to me. Beautiful or not. This is what I am.
Paranoid.
Anxiety.
Scared.
Rejected.
Loved- I think.
Depressed.
Happy.
Stable and unstable.

You know how in Hercules they have those life strings?
And if they cut it, the person the strings life represents, dies?
Sometimes I feel like that's me. Waiting to be cut.
And if I get cut...cut out of something. I can't lose those who are very important to me.
If you're in my top five...I cant lose you.

I don't know what this blog is about.

I guess, as Megara said,
"People do crazy things when they're in love."