Monday, April 11, 2011

New Thoughts on Disney

she waits in a daze
in a haze at the window
on the wall
staring back at the failures
that allowed her to fall

dreary drops of untouched dew
smear her makeup
under drooping eyelids
held open for the promise of
a prince to come for her too.

standstill clocks, hands unmoved with
slender fingers clutching the
dried petals of
the dreams she once held onto
tied to the string of the balloon she let go of long ago
when she gave away her heart
to become one more rejected cartoon.

don't waste your songs
on an aged dream that lost it's magic
when i lost you

or rather, the dream of you
distilled and dry to the tongue
the tip of it gracing my lips
when you used to sing that song

of notes filled with promise
of notes too soon forgotten with the fog that held you up
you're lost
amidst the dreams i let go of too soon.

amidst the air that supplied us with hopes and dreams of a love we let go of too soon.
of the love we let go of too soon.

i often wonder
what it would be like
to be her and not me.
i often wonder
what life would be like
to be wanted like her.
i often wonder what i did
to deserve to be alone.
i often wonder why my life
can't be etched in some disney campagin
full of love
and harmonies
and characters that the world can't get enough of.
that i can't get enough of.
how could you let me down?
how could you let me fall so fast before the hormones set it?
before the colors soaked into my skin
absorbed every lie you fed me as a child.
and here i am, waiting
for all your sick little promises.

until now, nothing i've written was good. but this... this i like:

“Being alone was never something I asked for,
not something i thrived to be.
Id rather be a tree:
strong and rooted to what it knows
to what it thrives off of.
I’d rather be so tall
that i could almost touch the sky
and be so close to flying
but never able to fall."

'least i got something good out of this.

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